This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do; learning to let go.
The few guys that I dated throughout my life were never hard to let go. I simply wasn’t that girl who fell madly in love with a boy as soon as she met him or even saw him. In fact, every time I knew it was ending I took it as a life lesson and simply said goodbye.
My friends though? That is what has been hard.
There have only been a few friends in my life where at the end of the long, bumpy road, I knew deep down, without a doubt in my heart, that I had to let them go.
It’s been really hard. Really, really hard. Even now when I think about it, it’s still very hard.
Sometimes, we weren’t as good of friends as I had always thought.
Sometimes we both move on with our lives and the friendship slowly drifts away.
And sometimes it was something else, something completely out of my control.
Then that moment comes when I see them again. After 2, 3 years, suddenly there they are. We freeze as the recognition sets in, throwing our arms around each other, laughing at the coincidence. I can’t believe it’s actually them.
Just as quickly I remember all the good times in the past and wish I could fix everything that went wrong. Go back to how it was before.
But I can’t.
I simply stand there with a smile on my face, silently hurting inside, remembering how this person made me feel more important than anyone ever had.
They wish me well and walk away; leaving me standing there, listening to my heart pounding in my chest, and I know deep down that I’ll never see them again.
Seven years later and it is still hard to think about it. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that someone so amazing was taken from my life; someone who I had hoped would be my friend until the end.
But life isn’t fair and I need to learn to let go.